Max Evans

Max was never more thankful for anything in his life than Izzy and Liz’s sudden appearance in his hotel room in LA. That sense of thankfulness wasn’t even diminished by their anger at Tess’s presence. Nothing could have taken away that pure sense of joy that they were both okay and alive. He’d been frantic and worried and had nearly had to make the trip alone.

Maybe asking Tess along hadn’t been the wisest choice but he was no less thankful for her presence – despite his wife and sisters opposite reactions – she’d been there and allowed him to be afraid. She let him share his fears and she even managed to quell some of them.

Nothing else mattered when Izzy and Liz were standing in front of his eyes. Not the way Michael had flaked out on him or how he hadn’t been able to get into contact with Maria. Not the constant state of terror he’d been in for weeks after that horrifying dream walk of Izzy’s. NOTHING mattered but their safety. He had to touch and hug them both to make sure they were real.

He hadn’t really wanted to let Izzy out of his sight either but it was enough that she was safe and with someone she and Liz both seemed to trust. And it was enough that he could fall asleep – and sleep well for the first time in weeks – with his arms around the woman he loved so desperately he wasn’t sure he could make it without her.

He was just so fucking thankful.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 260

I don’t think I ever really dealt with Alex’s death or maybe I just never got past the stage of denial. Or maybe, if I really think about it, I flew through the stages surrounding his actual death and got stuck in denial concerning my part in his death.

I couldn’t even begin to believe that just being who I was had something to do with Alex dying. So I clung to the idea that he’d committed suicide. Alex had never seemed like the type but isn’t that what everyone says about people who run their cars into trees or slit their wrists? That it was such a shock.

I hit anger when Liz all but accused me. I was angry with her because I knew that there was a chance she was right. I knew that it was entirely possible that Alex died because of who I was and how the hell was I suppose to accept that? Accepting that would mean that Liz could be next or Maria or even Isabel or Michael. So no, I was going to cling to his death as supremely not my fault.

I’m not exactly sure what bargaining was or depression. Unless you count me seeking out Tess for solace. Maybe that was my depression. Not to discount the fact that I did have feelings for her, because I did, but she was solace. Solace against so many things.

Acceptance came when we went after Leanna. I had no choice, if she had the power to hurt Liz and the others I had no choice but to accept my role. And I did and we were wrong and in the end it had been Tess; and it might as well have been me.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 291

United we stand, divided we fall.

The three years that followed saving Liz were tumultuous at best. Max’s life had been turned upside down too many times to count and stay sane. He’d put his life and the lives of his family into the hands of a girl who –while he didn’t know her well at the time – he trusted inexplicably. He’d never been the type to think to far into the possibility of life without Liz Parker, he would never ever regret saving her life – he refused to. So he hadn’t really thought too much about what life would have been like in those three years without the exposure of the healing – of Valenti’s investigation.

The one thing Max did know was that his family would have been there for him and he them. Over those three years he’d learned time and time again that when they were angry at each other, when things were tense and crazy, life just wasn’t the same. Not to mention the fact that when the three (or four) of them were at odds, life just got damn dangerous. For him, for them, for Maria and Alex (god, Alex) and Kyle and Jim.

He knew they didn’t like that he could be a controlling prick sometimes but he also knew that they would always, without fail, look to him for the answers when they couldn’t find them on their own. He’d resented it for a long time and now if he’s honest he still does on some level. That they question him and look to him in the same breath will always bother him on some level but he’s come to realize that family works that way sometimes.

He’s not their leader, their King. He’s Max and that’s all he’ll ever be and sometimes he’s sure that’s all that matters to anyone that knows him.

Without his family he would be lost. Things get dangerous, uncomfortable and crazy when they aren’t speaking. When every meeting is drenched in tension and unresolved anger – Max knows that without the easy trust they do have when things are good – things are just … well they are bad. It’s not a sudden revelation or even a new one. It’s just a simple truth.

Together they’re alright, a team. Apart, they are pretty much nothing and Max refuses to be nothing.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 386

Dearest Zan,

I’m not sure if your parents are ever going to give this to you, I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. I’m your father, my name is Max Evans and I love you more than you will ever know. There are so many things I want to say to you and one day I have this hope that maybe I’ll get to see you again. I want you to know why but first there are something’s I think you should know about me.

I was adopted too. My parents found my sister Isabel – your aunt – and me on the side of the road in New Mexico. After that we were just theirs but we always wondered. We would look up at the stars and just wonder who our parents were and why they’d left us. I remember sometimes I would think that maybe we’d done something wrong but I know now that it wasn’t anything like that. I never want you to think that. I love you so much and I knew that I couldn’t give you the safe and happy life that you deserved so I did the only thing I could. I found a nice family and put you in their care.

I question that choice everyday. I wonder if I could have just tried harder if I could hold you in my arms at night and tell you how much your mother loved you. How much my wife loved you, your aunt, Maria, Michael. I wish you could know them all.

It was my choice though and because of the life I lead I have a hard time regretting it. I still wonder but I know I made the right choice. My life, it’s not a life I want you to ever have to have. I needed you to be safe and happy and loved. Being loved was never the problem; I just couldn’t risk you, if something had happened to you. I’d lost you once already, you were taken from me and I spent months searching and looking and ruining the lives of the people I loved to try to find you. I’d do it all over again.

You should know your mother will probably never quite forgive me for letting you go. She was gone for a while and now she’s back. You were the only thing that kept her going, we both love you so much. We aren’t together, she’s not my wife but she’ll always mean something to me. She gave me you.

I love you Zan and one day I hope you can understand that the only thing I could give you was a chance at a happy normal life. I miss you and I pray to a god I don’t believe in that you are safe and happy and loved. You are my reason.

Your Father,
Max

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 478

This isn’t a subject that I’m completely comfortable discussing. It’s also a sore subject in my life in general – for more reasons than I could even begin to explain.

[Locked]

Alien sex is crazy. It’s not as if I have a huge basis for comparison but I’m a guy and even though I didn’t engage in locker room talk in High School I definitely heard it and what I experience during sex and what the average human seems to experience are two very different things.

I’ve only been with two women in my life. One was a hybrid just like me and we only had sex once – which resulted in our son. It was one of the most intense experiences of my life, like flying for hours, looking down on the world with a boneless kind of feeling and afterwards feeling like the high will never really go away.

That was sex with Tess; there was cuddling and shy smiles but after all the alien stuff went away it was just awkward and wrong and I knew I’d made a mistake. You can’t ever take something like that back and I wanted to so badly. Tess just wasn’t Liz and at the time Liz was all that mattered to me – even though I thought she’d slept with Kyle.

The thing is, even before Liz and I finally slept together I knew that I would take a million years of just looking at Liz and having her smile at me or just kissing her and it would always overshadow that intense alien sex.

And then, Liz and I made love; I asked her to marry me someday and she got that look on her face. You know that kind of look where there’s so much love and lust combined you can’t tell which you’d rather be on the receiving end of. Liz is not an alien hybrid but making love to her is continually the most intense and amazing experience of my life; just under that is healing her. The sex is different but not in the way you’d imagine; its nothing to do with alien biology. It’s the way I feel when I’m inside her with her dark eyes looking back at me the way only she ever has.

Making love to Liz and waking up with her every morning surpasses any other feeling on this earth or on any other planet. She’s the woman I love; the high I experience with her is so amazing I can’t even begin to describe it. It’s still alien sex, which should be surprising, but isn’t – it just so much more than that.

[Unlocked]

Love and sex are not mutually exclusive but I honestly think they should be.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 453

[Note: This takes place sometime during the road trip that Kyle & Max are on. No specific time/place - but probably on their way back to NY. Dealing with the Yacht sinking and Izzy dream walking Max as she drowns - obviously the original dream was written by isabelxevans this is just Max's version]


I'd finally let Kyle drive. I'd been getting too tired to bother with it. I was exhausted and my cellphone battery was dead, everytime I called home no one answered. No one answered at Michael & Maria's either but that wasn't knew. I could never get a hold of either of them when I needed to. I debated calling Tess but finally decided against it.

I was just so tired ...

"Max!" I turned quickly, I smiled at her and then I realized it was strange ... what was Izzy doing here?

"Isabel?" I asked with an unmistakable question, she ran towards me and threw her arms around my neck so hard we almost fell backwards. There was definately something wrong here and I just wrapped my arms around her.

"Max!" She whispered. "Oh, God, Max. I'm dying."

I pulled away from her faster than I could even think, what? I grabbed her arms, too tightly, panic evident in my eyes. "What? Isabel, what's wrong?"

"Liz and I... we came after you. But we got chased by alien hunters, and we ended up in L.A. and we snuck aboard this yacht, and it sank. Max, I don't know how much longer I can hold this." I took it all in as fast as I could, she was fading, she was really fading.

I couldn't believe it, shock and panic siezed me like nothing else ever has. And then I could speak again.

"Swim, damn it, Izzy. Swim!" I grasped her arms tighter and just looked at her.

"I can't!" She cried, breaking me just a bit more.

"Where's Liz?" I asked her, Liz, god, Liz and Isabel. No, this could not be happening.

"I don't know, Max. We got seperated. There were lifeboats, I just didn't get there in time." She said, and then when I felt the tears polling in my eyes she added; "Oh, Max, don't cry."

She hugged me again tightly. "I have to go now. I think this is it..."

No. No. She was not going to die, Isabel was a fighter, she was the stronger person I knew, she was not just going to die.

"Izzy! No. Stay with me Isabel. Please." I begged her with more desperation than I thought I possessed.

"Good-bye, Max." She whispered and then kissed my cheek, "I love you."

She faded completely from the dream and I screamed. I screamed so loud that it didn't even sound like me anymore. I was trapped in this nightmare, taken back to the white room as my subconcious toyed with my grief. Playing in my imagination; watching my sister and my wife being pulled beneath dark and murky waters as the life drained out of them.

And then ...

I jumped in the seat, startled, I wiped my face and my hands came back salty and wet. Kyle just looked at me confused for a moment.

"Oh God."

How far would you go to get something you really wanted?

Life isn’t about wanting. Like that movie; with great power comes great responsibility. It’s no Braveheart but I take stuff like that seriously. You don’t just have powers like I do and do whatever you want with them. That’s just not me anyway.

The only things that I have done or would do anything for and go as far as it took are to take care of my family. Which I don’t always do such a great job with either. I had this quest back during the summer after Tess went home. I was willing to do anything and everything to find my son. I could feel his pain grip at my insides and it was like he was screaming inside me; my son needed help.

It became my singular focus for almost the entire summer and I dragged Liz along with me. It didn’t matter to me what trouble I got in or how much I hurt the people I loved, at the time all I could think about was my son. He needed me and I would be damned if I didn’t try to help him. My flesh and blood. You can’t just ignore something like that and I can’t even begin to describe the way it felt, burning inside of me like this internal fire that would never be put out.

I know that’s not really the question.

To get my son back now, if I was able to completely convince myself it was the right thing to do; I’d probably do anything. I’d be selfish and take him away from the family that has undoubtedly learned to love him more than life. I’d give anything to hold him in my arms and have Liz hold him. Hell, even giving Tess back our son would be worth it. No one else can quiet understand what that loss is like, resting on my shoulders.

I think I’d do anything.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 321

[Locked]

Michael’s used a variety of names to make me feel insecure. He calls me King and I just want to punch him. See despite what Izzy and Michael say? They put me in the situation where I had to be the one to make the decisions. They may say otherwise but they put me there. Yes, I’m controlling and I’m stubborn and I usually think I’m right but none of that takes away from the fact that I didn’t choose that position – I was put there.

They put me there, long before we learned that I had been the King on Antar.

So when they want me to make these decisions, I make them. Then they question me, they don’t like the decision I make so they make me the bad guy. I’m the leader until they don’t like what I choose and then I’m just Maxwell. I’m just one of them until they need me to make another decision.

There’s no way to describe how much that pisses me off. I don’t want to be the leader; destiny is crap in my eyes. I don’t care if I was a king in another life, I didn’t ask for this, I wasn’t given a choice. So to be questioned, belittled and talked down to – it doesn’t induce a cool level of calm. Respect. It’s all I really want.

[Unlocked]

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: ROSWELL
Word Count: 228

I’d get my son back. If I could do that without hurting anyone, without causing a family the same pain I felt when I gave him away – I’d do it in a heartbeat. I’ve done plenty in my life that I wanted to do, things that had dire consequences for the people around me and people who were brought into the mess that is my life. Some of those things I wouldn’t undo, despite the consequences and some I’d do anything to take back because of the consequences. Every time the people I care about were put in danger, every time I made the wrong decision or treated someone badly without even realizing what I was doing. Every time I was selfish and put myself before the people I love, I’d take those things back.

But if I could hold my son in my arms, show him the family he has that loves him so much. If I could give Tess back the one thing she almost died for or if I could see Liz holding him one more time. If I could give Isabel her nephew and see Michael soften up to a baby boy; I’d do it. It’s only the consequences that keep me from doing it everyday. I can just imagine our ragtag group helping to raise my son, I can even see some sort of truce between Tess and well everyone else because despite everything she’s his mother and she kept him safe when I couldn’t.

Everyday I think I hear him crying and everyday I have to keep myself from doing something that will get us all exposed, maybe killed. If only life was simple enough to live consequence free.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 285

There are certain moments in life when the pain is so great that you actually think you might die from it. I’m talking all kinds of pain emotional, spiritual, physical – all of it. I’ve had a few of these moments in my life and sometimes I think they might actually have shaped who I am today. The way I come across to people and how and why I can rarely open up or even chalk up my faults to other people. The first I think is pretty obvious; Liz getting shot in the Crashdown. It was a moment of pure agony before I rushed over to her and put my hand on her abdomen and then I felt it all, they way her gut was tightening in on itself and loosing blood and the way her mind went a million different places all at once.

The next big one that stands out is the white room. It’s a blur of torture and pain and something I’ll never really get over. They used every fear I had against me in there, putting these images in my mind of Isabel and Michael being captured and tortured, images of Liz dying. I won’t even go into the tests they ran and the things they did to me. It’s one big haze of pain. I can’t even block it out and some nights I still wake up in a silent scream. I thought it was going to kill me and I was almost ready for that fate at one point.

When Alex died it surpassed all the pain and rage I’d been holding in at Liz and Kyle. I’m not skipping that incident because it all bled together. Suddenly someone who’d done so much for me and my family was gone and it might have been my fault. Then we learned it was my fault, the pain and rage was all over the place and I couldn’t decide who to direct it to. So when I started to feel my sun, these sudden spasms of pain and fear spiraling out of control that’s where I focused all that unused pain and rage. I had to find him when I finally did. When Tess showed up with our son there was this peace that settled over all of that, everything that had happened almost felt like it had to happen to bring him into the world. It didn’t excuse the pain or bring back Alex but there was this life that I helped create and there was no way I could ever regret everything else.

I let myself believe that for a moment I could keep my son and Liz and I could raise him and everything would be perfect. And then the real pain started and despite the fact that I know I did the right thing. That pain will never go away. I’ll always wish there had been another way; I’ll always carry that pain and that guilt with me.

Some days it still feels like it might kill me.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 507

I don’t believe in God, I never have and I’m not sure I never will. I couldn’t tell you exactly what it is that brings me to this lack of belief in a higher being greater than the sum of the universe whose pulling our strings on a daily basis. Maybe it’s because while my parents meant well sometimes I felt a bit like religion was crammed down my throat. It wasn’t that they attempted to force me to believe anything I just felt as though it was expected. In the end I think they started to respect the fact that I couldn’t find it in myself to believe in this almighty everyone seems so intent to blame life on. I guess maybe my complete refusal to believe in ‘destiny’ might have something to do with it. I’ve always thought our destiny or our fate is what we make of it. Long before the word became a curse straight from my real mothers lips.

One Christmas I found myself faced with what some people might call proof, I honestly still can’t say what it was but it wasn’t a perspective changing experience, at least not in the sense that it changed what I believed. Really I think it reminded me of what I actually believed in. It wasn’t God or any other deity someone might find the need to pray to. It was the people around me that I believed in. Liz in particular in those moments but not just her.

It’s something I think I’ll always have, this lack of belief in someone greater than myself. Before I hear a groan from Michael, Kyle or Isabel – I’m not saying that it’s because I think I’m the greatest because despite what you guys think I don’t believe that. It is, however, probably somewhat to do with the fact that I am a control freak and the idea that someone else is pulling my strings doesn’t sit well. I just find that I don’t have to believe in this power I’ll never see. I have people to believe in and that’s always going to be enough for me.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 357

My regrets aren’t as obvious as some might think. I can’t regret my son, it doesn’t matter the circumstances or what happened afterwards I just don’t have it in me to regret him. Someday’s I regret the decision to give him away, I wonder if we could have made it work and kept him safe. I wonder what it would be like to wake up in the middle of the night because he’s crying. I wonder if he’s safe with the family I chose for him. I wonder if in the end it was the right thing to do.

It’s hard to narrow down regret to one thing, especially in my life. I could go so far back to regret my past life but only some of the memories are clear enough to make the distinction between action to regret. Though I’m betting trusting Kivar would be at the top of that list.

I’ll never regret saving Liz, it’s another one of those things that the end result has no affect on whether or not I’d regret it. The White Room, the pain, loosing people, none of that could make me regret saving Liz. Maybe some people would see that as foolish but I’ll never be able to, not in a million years.

I think I can think of a few things I do regret. I regret treating Tess badly in the beginning, though nothing about my heart would have changed. I regret trying to control Isabel and Michael to the point where both of them probably wanted to kill me. I regret letting Alex die and not being able to bring him back. I regret treating Liz the way I did during and after Alex’s funeral. I regret the decision to go home, even though we never left. Home was always here. What do I regret most? I’m pretty sure it’s still going to happen.

Fandom: Roswell
Muse: Max Evans
Word Count: 361

Why wouldn’t I believe in ghosts? Given the world around us and what I know about it there’s absolutely no reason to believe that ghost are real. Have I ever really had an experience with one? I don’t know for sure, sometimes I think it was just my subconscious working through guilt and other times I think I had an old fashion Christmas haunting.

About two years ago at Christmas, Michael and I saw a man get hit by a car. His daughter was right there with him and he was lying there lifeless and we couldn’t help.

//Locked to Roswellians//

I wanted to rush over and save him just like I’d done to Liz the year before but I couldn’t. There were too many people around and while I hated it, Michael was right, I couldn’t risk all of us like that.

//Unlocked//

There was absolutely nothing we could do but stand there helplessly and watch this man die. It started just after that, the man came to me, like a delusion or something. He wasn’t exactly nice but he wasn’t some evil spirit either. He knew that I could have helped him somehow and he followed me and reminded me. It was driving me crazy, I went to his house and saw his wife and his daughter. Reality just sunk in on me that Christmas. I was being haunted by this guy.

//Locked to Roswellians//

Then there was Brody’s daughter, she had cancer and when Liz told me that I knew what I had to do. I had to restore the balance. It wouldn’t bring him back but it would help out Sydney. So Michael and I went to heal her, but she’d been taken to the children’s ward of the hospital. Michael reluctantly followed me to the hospital and kept watch while I healed Sydney, but then I saw the other children, alone and sick on Christmas and I couldn’t just not help them too.

We barely escaped being caught and it made the news the next day.

//Unlocked//

I’d like to think that maybe him helping me realize something’s about myself is what helped him find peace.

Fandom: Roswell
Muse: Max Evans
Word Count: 361

Growing up thinking god knows what about the parents that gave birth to me put what I did have into this strange kind of perspective. Watching the lives of the people around us, seeing how lucky Isabel and I got with our parents just made family that much more important. We were as close to our parents as two kids like us could be and sometimes I think it was enough and other times I’m sure it wasn’t. From the beginning though it was clear, Izzy and I had each other. We protected each other and confided in each other. When we were kids we’d just slip into each others rooms at night and talk about everything, mostly things we had no clue of, like our parents and why they left us.

It wasn’t too long before Michael was there. We’d always known we were missing him and I’m not sure if any of us really thought about the biological all I knew was that Michael was my brother. It was the three of us, we were family and in a way we were all we had. Izzy and I had mom and dad but there was line drawn between us and them after a certain point and it was a line we never got to cross again.

Even when things got tough later and when I say tough it’s probably the hugest understatement in the galaxy, but the three of us were held together by this bond that can’t ever be broken. Not that we haven’t tried. All three of us are stubborn and all three of us have made the kind of monumental mistakes that don’t seem like they can ever be forgiven but somehow we do. Even if they rarely want to forgive me for my mistakes. We’re family.

I know it seems like now that Liz and I are married that I don’t have time for them and maybe I’ve let it be that way but Michael and Isabel are my family. From this life and the last and I would never do anything willingly to damage the bond we have. My family is just made up of a lot of different parts now. I have a son and a wife and while that means that things do change it doesn’t make my family any less of a family. I mean honestly what would I do without them?

Fandom: Roswell
Muse: Max Evans
Word Count: 402

//Locked from everyone//

My first time is a huge argument for debate between my friends and family. Isabel thinks that Tess used her powers and manipulated me into sleeping with her, Liz might think the same. I don’t doubt that some of what happened was a form of manipulation but I don’t think that Tess used any powers on me. What I think everyone likes to forget is that when it happened I was under the impression that Liz had slept with Kyle and was still pushing me away, telling me she didn’t love me every chance she got. Alex had died and she was insistent that it had something to do with us being aliens and I didn’t want to believe her. It was guilt and fear that made me itch to believe that a guy like Alex would kill himself. It felt like everyone was against me and Tess was the only person who would even listen, she didn’t agree blindly all the time she just listened. She was helping me remember our world and her.

It’d be easy to cop the whole thing up to Tess mind warping me and manipulation but I can’t. I’ve made so many excuses for so many of my actions and I can’t do it anymore. I willingly slept with Tess for a lot of reasons. I did feel something for her, that might come as a shock to Isabel and admitting it to Liz would hurt her too much, but I did. It wasn’t just Ava from my memories that I was feeling things for it was Tess.

That night I think I just needed her comfort; I needed to feel like I wasn’t screwing up at every turn. I hadn’t planned it or really even thought about it but it happened. It was, well alien sex is definitely different than sex I’ve heard described by humans. All that aside it was nice, I was willing to admit that night that I did have feelings for Tess. My feelings for Tess weren’t a fraction of what I feel for Liz but they were there and they were real. We created a life that night, a human life if you can believe it and I can’t regret that. I regret the circumstances, how much it hurt in the end (all of us, Tess included) and I regret that my first time wasn’t with the woman I knew I’d love forever.

Maybe our son is the reason I’m willing to give Tess a small chance or maybe it’s those feelings I had for her. They were all shot to hell the second I found out she’d betrayed us. There are a lot of things I can forgive but putting Isabel and Michael in danger, putting Liz and my son in danger? Those are things I’m not sure I can ever really forgive.

//Unlocked//

Fandom: Roswell
Muse: Max Evans
Word Count: 476

Who am I? I've asked myself this question my entire life, who are you, where are you from? What is your purpose here and when I found out who I was and what my purpose was I denied it. So I guess I still question who I am and what I will do with my life.

My name is Max Evans, in another life I was called Zan; I was the King of a planet named Antar and myself, my sister, my wife and my second in command were all murdered by a dictator, Kivar. The four of us were genetically engineered, our Antarian DNA mixed with human and we were sent to earth in hopes that we would one day return to reclaim our planet and essentially save it. The weather balloon in New Mexico back in 47? That was us, we were in these incubation pods for forty years and when we came out we were all 6 years old. Me, my twin sister Isabel, my best friend Michael and Tess. Isabel and I were adopted by Phillip and Diane Evans who found us walking naked along the road one night. Michael was put into foster care and put with Hank Guerin, Tess didn't show up until sophomore year of high school, she'd spent her life with our protector Nesado who as it turns out was a cold blooded killer.

All that sounds life altering and in no way am I saying that it wasn't but the day my life really changed was the day Liz Parker died. I'd always felt something for Liz, from the first time I saw her playing with Maria in third grade. I'm aware that it sounds a bit creepy to watch a girl for that long but I was (and still am) the kind of person who doesn't let many people in. At the time Izzy, Michael and I knew we were different and we were terrified that someone else would find out and we'd end up in some government lab somewhere being poked and prodded. It wasn't that easy living in Roswell either, since the crash made it Alien central. Liz was shot in the Crashdown and there wasn't even a choice to be made, I saved her. I saw her go down, heard Maria scream and there was this second where I imagined the world without Liz in it and I didn’t want to live in that world. So I healed her and put my life and the lives of Michael and Isabel into her hands.

Life after that was a series of scary and dangerous adventures and for a little while Liz and I were together. At first I stayed away because I knew it would be dangerous for her and our secret getting out could cost all of us our lives, there was more than a little fear. There was a lot of disbelief, how could a girl like Liz ever want to be with someone like me? Eventually I relented and just when things were good Tess showed up. Some days I blame Tess and some days I think I understand. She caused trouble with Liz and I and I didn't really want to accept her. Then we found out she used to be my wife and Liz ran because destiny said I should be with Tess. It would have been easy to just surrender to destiny but loving Liz was one of the only things in my life I'd ever been sure of. There's two years worth of long stories I could tell about the trials and tribulations of being on the run from the government. Liz pretended to sleep with Kyle, I started getting closer to Tess, Alex died and then I got Tess pregnant. The entire year I was trying to be the leader our mother had told us I was and in the end I just messed everything up. It turned out that Tess had killed Alex and when it was time to go home we found out she'd betrayed us. The deal was to get pregnant with my child and deliver us to Kivar. We're all lucky that Liz found out the truth. Tess left (though it turns out she didn’t go very far) and the rest of us just tried to pick up the pieces.

Liz and I tried to keep things together. I think we hurt each other a lot in that year. I was obsessed with finding my son and I drug her along for the ride. I just couldn't deal with life without her anymore and I let my selfishness get her into trouble. Izzy got married and I took it upon myself to be overbearing and continued to make bad decisions. In the end we all had to leave Roswell. In the end we're still hiding but I've got Izzy and Michael (most of the time). Liz is my wife and my son is safe, he’s living the kind of life that I could have never given him.

I'm Max Evans and I'm an alien.

Fandom: Roswell
Muse: Max Evans
Word Count: 848

With Valentine's Day around the corner we want you to think about love. Who do you love? What does it do to you? Does it lift you up like a bad cheesy power ballad? Does it destroy you? What does love do to you? What has it done to you in the past?

I love my wife. The first time I saw her I was getting off a school bus, Izzy was next to me and we were determined to stick together. Even back then we recognized the need to survive and protect ourselves; we knew we were different. Liz was playing in the school yard with Maria and Alex and even back then when I was so young I saw something in her that I’d never seen in anyone else. I didn’t have many people to compare her to especially kids our age but still somehow she was like this beacon to me.

At the risk of sounding extremely creepy, I watched her for years. Life in Roswell was slow paced and there was rarely anything exciting going on; save maybe the Crash Festival. I watched Liz go from the beautiful, smart and kind little girl that she was into this even more beautiful and kind woman. She was still a beacon of everything I ever wanted but was too afraid to go for. It would be easy to say that I loved her before I really knew her but I’m a realist and I think I loved the idea of her. She was much better than the idea. Liz was dying and I knew I could save her, I didn’t have any choice in that; Michael asked me once if it had been anyone but Liz Parker dying on the floor of the crash down if I’d have risked everything. The humanitarian in me wants to say that yes, any human life is worth it, but staying in the vein of being a realist? It was Liz, that’s why I didn’t even think.

The course of the three years after that day in September were rocky and hard. There were times when I question Liz and I questioned myself but through all that I never questioned loving her.

I never really thought I’d get the dream and while this dream isn’t exactly what I’d expected I married the woman I love how can I complain about that?

I love my sister and my brother and while Michael may not be my blood relation he’s still my brother. Loving these people is what makes me human and that’s something I’ve always strived to be.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 382

There’s the really obvious answer of who I’d kill for. Isabel, Michael, Kyle, Maria, Liz and my son. I had an opportunity to kill Tess for what she’d done to Alex but in the end I couldn’t do it. She was carrying my child and I could remember what it felt like to feel my son. Back then things seemed too complicated and I would never have though I could kill anyone. Michael killed pierce to save Valenti, Isabel killed Whittaker to save Tess, Tess killed a dozen skins to save us all and me? Well I guess you never know until you’re tested.

In the end I don’t envy the others for the lives they were forced to take. The decisions I’ve made alone weigh so heavily on me enough already. Even though I haven’t been tested I would die for them and I would kill for them, there’s no doubt in my mind.

What I’d kill for though? The answer isn’t so obvious. I could say I’d kill to go home and feel like I belong in the world that created me, but I’m not sure that’s true – I don’t think it’s ever been true. Michael was always more right than I ever admitted; I wanted to be normal, to just be human and I didn’t care where we came from. Even after the things we learned, the so called destiny, I would have given anything to not have heard what I was ‘meant’ for.

So I’d kill to be just a normal guy able to keep his son and give him the life he deserves. To be able to go back to Roswell with Liz and announce to everyone who doesn’t care that I married the woman I love and have no regrets. To show my parents the kind of man I’m becoming because of them. To not look over my shoulder where ever I go. To not flee whatever state we’re in because there is a possibility that the FBI are lurking around. To not have to think about killing people to survive the day.

I’d kill to be human.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 354

Who do you look up to more than anybody else? Everybody has a role model - take a few minutes to pay tribute to yours.

I’m not so sure I ever had a role model. I was always too preoccupied with staying alive and keeping my secret that I never had time to really appreciate most of the people in the world that could be good role models. If I had to say anyone I guess I’d say my dad. He always tried to teach Izzy and I to do what was right and to be the kind of kids he and mom were proud to have. We tried so hard, it was easy with our parents to portray the image of normal. We were just two adopted kids with two amazing parents who loved us like we really were theirs and we were.

My dad’s a lawyer and there were times when he probably would have done anything to know what was going on in my life. I remember wishing I could tell him everything and wishing that my fears of rejected were irrational. Risking it was too much though, Izzy wanted to tell them so many time, mom more than dad because she needed her mother. It wasn’t just us at risk though. If we’d told them and they’d gotten involved anything could have happened to them. I know my dad would have protected us because that was the kind of man he was. I don’t think I’ll ever know anyone quite like my father. In the end, he was so desperate to find out what we were hiding that I didn’t even know him anymore. I tried to hate him for not respecting, for not just accepting me the way I was. I hated him for digging because I was so afraid it would get him killed. In the very end though, he was there for us and if we went back to Roswell I know he’d welcome us with open arms.

Jim Valenti is someone who turned out to be nothing like I’d expected. Maybe it was saving Kyle’s life or maybe it was him knowing that his father hadn’t been crazy but he was our biggest ally. I wouldn’t call him my role model in the same way I’d call my father a role model but he’s definitely someone I admire more than I can even put into words. If I turn out to be half the man he is I’ll be in good shape.

Though I guess when it comes down to it the person I’d most like to model myself after would be Liz. She’s strong and she’s a fighter and I’ve never loved anyone or anything the way I love her. She would have been an amazing mother to my son.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 444

Cast the Lifetime movie based on your life and tell us about it. You can give us a brief synopsis of the major plot points, tell us about the dramatic climax, or even write a scene from it. Remember this is only based loosely on the real events of your life so take as many liberties as you want with it.

There’s something a bit too personal about attempting to create a movie based on my life. I’m a private person and as much as I’d love to be able to trust the general population to know my secrets I really just don’t. Call it paranoia if you like, but mine is nothing compared to Michael’s. So I guess the cliff notes are in order.

Boy falls in love with girl at a young age, watches from afar as they both grow up. Boy saves girl’s life and finds out girl loves him too. Boy breaks up with girl to keep her safe, girl doesn’t like it but eventually wears down boy and they are happy, for a while until other girl shows up and starts to make trouble. Someone tells, boy, girl, boys sister & best friend that boy is meant to be with other girl so girl runs away so he can face destiny. (I hate that word, if you were wondering). Life continues on until boy is determined to get girl back, only girl sleeps with her ex (at least it appears to boy that she has) and boy is heartbroken and starts to open up to other girl. Boy and other girl get close, too close even for boy but boy’s hurt and scared and he takes comfort in other girl. Then girls best friend is murdered by other girl but no one knows until girl figures it out, only other girl is pregnant with boys child. Other girl eventually flees and boy and girl work to get back together until boy finds out his child is in danger, everything is wrong and boy almost ruins his life before other girl comes back with their child and then dies before he can thank her for keeping their child safe. But boy knows he can’t give his child the life he deserves so boy gives child up for adoption. Eventually boy, girl, boys sister, boys best friend, girls ex and girls other best friend all leave their childhood home and search out a safe place. Boy and girl get married. They live happily ever after.

See, cliff notes, still more than I really like people knowing about my life. I’m not going to try to cast people to play my family and friends. Who could play Liz anyway? No one would be able to convince me.

Muse: Max Evans
Fandom: Roswell
Word Count: 398